Choose Who You Will Be

inspired by a conversation with Brian and the Korean folk tale The Fairy and the Woodcutter (선녀와 나무꾼)

Not so long ago lived Woodcutter. He was young, curious and daring, and sometimes cheeky and full of himself. He’d cut wood in the forest every day. He had no family, other than his old mother, which he loved and cared about. One day, while he was working in the woods, a Deer came asking for help.

“Please, help me! The Hunter is going to kill me!” The Deer said with tears in his eyes.

Woodcutter hid the Deer in the bushes, and when the Hunter appeared, he said that the Deer went in another direction.

The Deer was grateful and told the Woodcutter that he would fulfill one of his wishes because of his kindness.

“So, what is that you desire?”

“I want a beautiful wife, marriage, and children,” the Woodcutter answered.

“Up there in the mountains, there is a lake where fairies come to play and bath in the night of the full moon. They leave their wing robes on the ground. Take hold of a wing robe of one fairy, hide it, and she will be your wife. You will have three children. Don’t give her her wing robe back, or tell her about it until your third child is born. Do you understand?”

The Woodcutter nodded and smiled. He always wanted to meet fairies. They were beautiful creatures, straight from heaven. He could imagine how beautiful his wife would be and how happy it would make his mother.

“Now promise!” The Deer said.

“Why should I make promises to you?”

“Do you want to have a beautiful wife, get married, and have children or not?”

“Okay, okay. I promise,” The Woodcutter replied.

So, the Woodcutter did as the Deer said. On the night of the full moon, he climbed up into the mountains. Bathed in moonlight, four fairies were playing and laughing in the lake. The legends did them justice – they were just as beautiful as he expected. He secretly grabbed the wing robe of one of them and hid it in his bag.

“We must go back,” one of the fairies said, and they started grabbing their wing robes. But, oh no, there was one wing robe missing! “We must go back!”

“Don’t leave me behind! Give me a hand and pick me up!” the Fairy without the wing robe shouted, but her sisters flied up in the sky. “Come back!” she called out to the sky one more time. “Don’t leave me alone!” But her sisters were gone. She started to cry. She was furious and sad at the same time. “Damn, what am I supposed to do now?! I must return before sunrise,” she whispered for herself.

The Woodcutter looked at the lonely Fairy in the lake. She was beautiful even when she was crying. Even when she was mad. “Ahem…” he cleared his throat, “Do you need help?”

The Fairy quickly wiped away her tears and looked at the man who was standing by the lake. She didn’t need a savior or a knight in a shining armor. She was a fairy, after all, a supernatural being, an angelic woman, a fantastic creature… She was also wet, scared, and lonely, and she needed help and clothes, so she said “Hello” and “Yes.”

He gave her a human robe. She gave him a smile.

There is something magical about the moon and moonlight, the illusion of day in the night, the serenity that comes right before entering the dream world.

They talked all night. He looked at her. She was beautiful. Smart. Funny. Amazing. In the blink of an eye, he saw how great his life would be with her.

She was scared, but she tried to hide it. She was sad, and she wanted to conceal it as well, brush it off like it didn’t matter. And in his heart, the Woodcutter knew that this wasn’t right. What is the purpose of a beautiful life if you build it on someone’s sadness? What is the meaning of a relationship if it is built on lies?

He knew that he wanted to keep something that didn’t belong to him. He took out the wing robe and gave it to her.

She gave him a wide smile and flew to the sky.

The sun was rising when the Woodcutter returned home. In the light of day, everything about last night seemed like a dream, but he knew in his heart that it wasn’t. His heart was empty, but at the same time full. He was sad, but at the same time happy.

“Is everything all right?” his mother asked him from the doorway.

He looked at his mother and told her everything.

“You did the right thing,” his mother said and hugged him.

Some years later, the Woodcutter was walking through the forest with his wife. Their children were running around laughing. He looked up at the mountains and beyond. He looked up to the sky where the fairies fly, where the moon and sun rise, hoping that She, the Fairy, was happy as he was.

He remembered that night when his own wishes and desires almost took the best of him. The night he learned that some promises must be broken. He remembered that night when he realized that it was up to him to choose what kind of man he would be.

T.A. Marra